, 'Cos I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

hello,

I went to school late, still crying for some personal reasons.
I have already tried to comfort myself but it failed.

Well, walked in the school gate and didn't get my name written,
it was because mr martin was understanding enough to know why I was late for school.. went to the hall and saw jingyi with her weird specs. It was silent reading period back then , tried thinking as positive as I could.. Miss Wong questioned me later and I was reluctant to tell. I could only tell jingyi cos she had the same problem as me at home..only she understood.

I spent the whole of my time during lessons at school today. I wasn't listening to any of the lessons the teacher was conducting. I have to catch up with the class sooner or later. Now that I think back , I don't regret daydreaming. It really makes my day good.

I found myself smiling again after a long period of time. Was in the the mood to speak after that. Miss Wong told me to go to her homeroom during recess to speak to her. Jingyi followed along, I was glad that happened. School ended, went home to sleep.

By the way, I have went back to the way I was.
Go home, sleep.I wont be going online so frequently, like before... I don't wish to speak to anyone.

I'm really not in the mood for any other problems that the others have for me.I already had enough of it, stop it please, I can't take it.I would end everything without thinking twice and that won't be good.I wouldn't want that to happen. I blame myself for knowing something that I shouldn't, I regret. I should have left things the way they were meant to be.I'm doing my best to ignore what I knew and pretending not to know.

I'm sorry.